Anger is a normal human emotion that can range from mild annoyance to intense rage. Anger is a feeling that is accompanied by biological and physical changes in your body, such as increased heart rate, blood pressure and stress hormones.
Facts about anger-
• Often associated with frustration
• Usually linked with other negative emotions
• Usually a response to a negative emotion, e.g. frightened, disappointed, feeling hurt, embarrassed, worried
• Can rise from misunderstandings
• Poor communication between people can lead to anger
• Men and women manage and express anger in different ways e.g. rage vs crying
If you feel that you have anger management problems, ask yourself this. Do you find yourself shaking, getting hot and feeling out of control? Do you find that your behaviour also changes and you find yourself yelling, throwing things, ignoring, criticising, storming out or maybe you do the opposite and doing nothing at all and withdraw. If you feel that someone else has anger management problems, the same questions apply to them.
Signs when anger is a problem:-
• There is verbal, emotional, physical or psychological abuse
• You’re sarcastic, irritable, or moody
• You feel angry a lot of the time
• People close to you are worried about your anger
• Problems with personal relationships and/or work
• You’re apathetic, inconsistent and overreact
• You think you must get angry to get what you want
• Anger seems to get bigger than the event that set it off
• Anger lasts for a long time, and well after the triggering event has passed
• Other situations are affected that are not related to the original event
• You are becoming anxious or depressed about it
• You’re touchy
• You are using alcohol or other drugs to try to manage your anger
• You are behaviourally acting out (e.g. gambling more)
• You lash out at the people who are closest to you, or those who are less powerful than you
• You make direct or veiled threats
• You’re aggressive or behave antisocially
• You don’t deal with the situation that sparked off your anger in the first place.
There is nothing wrong with getting angry. But when anger is expressed in harmful ways, or persists over a long period of time, it can lead to problems. The result is that these problems will affect the overall quality of your life in all areas, such as work, home, study, relationships, the law and in general day to day living. If anger is not managed properly it can lead to violence. The consequence of this violence is not only being in trouble with the law, but it could result in imprisonment. Additionally what about the psychological, emotional, and actual physical bodily damage done to the other person? There is plenty of history to show that many have ended up dead because someone could not manage their anger. Do you use violence as an excuse for being abusive towards another person because it gives you the power and control over that other person because it creates fear in them? Or do you know someone that does this?
So you may ask. why bother getting help if you are apparently meeting your needs? Well, anger management is not about getting rid of the anger completed, but about understanding why you get angry rather than allowing it to build up and fester. Anger management enables you to learn how to express your feelings of anger in a manageable manner, and to help you to start addressing the issues that are making you angry in the first place. It is about learning and practicing better ways of expressing your anger, and knowing how to prevent it from occurring in the first place. Specifically, anger management is about identifying the triggers and early warning signs that lead to anger, and learning techniques to calm down and manage the situation before it gets out of control.
So, are you ready to make the change? Not sure, well ask yourself this. What have you got to lose except for more than what you already have?
If you have any questions about The Soothing Minds Harmony Program or would like to make an appointment, please contact me on 8448 1106.